Comments on: On Being Complicit, “Black Trash” and Reverse Racism http://dcentric.wamu.org/2011/02/on-being-complicit-black-trash-and-reverse-racism/ Race, Class, The District. Mon, 16 Jul 2012 03:01:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: JP http://dcentric.wamu.org/2011/02/on-being-complicit-black-trash-and-reverse-racism/#comment-295 JP Thu, 03 Feb 2011 22:52:00 +0000 http://dcentric.wamu.org/?p=3866#comment-295 I'm the guy who wrote the second comment. I must agree that some of the language I used is offensive, and perhaps a better term would be "underclass", although I'm sure some would be offended by that too. But at some point, the truth will offend those whose explanation of their reality relies on blaming external forces. What I didn't say in my first post is this: I grew up in a trailer park. I, along with my 4 siblings, was raised by my father. My mother became addicted to drugs (cocaine, then crack, to be specific) when I was 3, and left us. My trailer park was on a rural road that was littered with "shanty towns" and other trailer parks with numerous black and white residents, as well as some Hispanic folks, who were mainly seasonal workers. Most of my childhood friends were black, but I had plenty of white friends too. My father had to work long hours to support us, but he always made sure we did our school work, and would help in all aspects. He never, ever, ever took a handout from the government, or anyone else for that matter. The lesson he always taught us was that when you give up your pride on a regular basis, you will eventually become shameless. This is what I watched welfare do to many of my friends' families. Their mothers had no standards for the random men they let into their house. They had no standards for the way their children behaved, as long as it wasn't interfering with their socializing or television watching. They had no standards for their children's grades. They just coasted. I know this is all anecdotal, but for me, it is all very vivid and real. I hated how my friends, one by one, would hit puberty, become uncontrollable when they became bigger and stronger than their mother, and drop out of school. The woman who, in a way, took the role of being my mother was my best friend's mother. She was a proud black woman who stepped in to help me whenever she felt I needed it. (she would sew my clothes sometimes, and never, ever hesitated to invite me over for dinners) She was the first person who I ever heard use the term "black trash." Her son, my (to this day) best friend, was assaulted on a regular basis by black trash kids who accused him of "acting white" because he performed so well in school.(He was on the wrestling team with me, so he was able to hold his own, and we always had his back) He was a genius, and his mother and father made sure he understood that pulling others down is what shameless, trashy people do best. He now lives in northern Virginia, and I see him on a weekly basis. He is raising a son (he has primary custody), volunteers as coach in numerous kids sports leagues, and is a leading technology consultant in his field, earning a hefty salary. He is everything you would expect from such an awesome family. They didn't have money, but they had all the right ingredients to teach him to succeed. Seeing him and his siblings rise up, along with many other black folks in my community who had decent parents has shown me that social engineering and handouts are not the answer. Pumping money into schools can't counteract lazy parenting. Many of my white friends ended up in prison. Many of my black friends ended up as being pillars of their respective communities. A previous comment asks "Where are all the proud, black educated people?" They are all around you. Maybe not the majority in some neighborhoods in DC, but look around. And its not always education. The awesome metrobus driver (you know these guys) who kicks ass at his job and gives anyone who ask friendly advice on where to go and how best to get there. The construction worker who may not own a car, but wears an American flag hard hat while hauling his tools on a dolly on and off the bus as he goes to work at dawn (he rides the bus I take all the time). I've had conversations with these folks, and many others, and they know how to raise their kids, and they are the first to talk about the cultural root of the problems confronting the "trash" in DC. I’m the guy who wrote the second comment. I must agree that some of the language I used is offensive, and perhaps a better term would be “underclass”, although I’m sure some would be offended by that too. But at some point, the truth will offend those whose explanation of their reality relies on blaming external forces.
What I didn’t say in my first post is this: I grew up in a trailer park. I, along with my 4 siblings, was raised by my father. My mother became addicted to drugs (cocaine, then crack, to be specific) when I was 3, and left us. My trailer park was on a rural road that was littered with “shanty towns” and other trailer parks with numerous black and white residents, as well as some Hispanic folks, who were mainly seasonal workers. Most of my childhood friends were black, but I had plenty of white friends too. My father had to work long hours to support us, but he always made sure we did our school work, and would help in all aspects. He never, ever, ever took a handout from the government, or anyone else for that matter. The lesson he always taught us was that when you give up your pride on a regular basis, you will eventually become shameless. This is what I watched welfare do to many of my friends’ families. Their mothers had no standards for the random men they let into their house. They had no standards for the way their children behaved, as long as it wasn’t interfering with their socializing or television watching. They had no standards for their children’s grades. They just coasted. I know this is all anecdotal, but for me, it is all very vivid and real. I hated how my friends, one by one, would hit puberty, become uncontrollable when they became bigger and stronger than their mother, and drop out of school.
The woman who, in a way, took the role of being my mother was my best friend’s mother. She was a proud black woman who stepped in to help me whenever she felt I needed it. (she would sew my clothes sometimes, and never, ever hesitated to invite me over for dinners) She was the first person who I ever heard use the term “black trash.” Her son, my (to this day) best friend, was assaulted on a regular basis by black trash kids who accused him of “acting white” because he performed so well in school.(He was on the wrestling team with me, so he was able to hold his own, and we always had his back) He was a genius, and his mother and father made sure he understood that pulling others down is what shameless, trashy people do best.
He now lives in northern Virginia, and I see him on a weekly basis. He is raising a son (he has primary custody), volunteers as coach in numerous kids sports leagues, and is a leading technology consultant in his field, earning a hefty salary. He is everything you would expect from such an awesome family. They didn’t have money, but they had all the right ingredients to teach him to succeed. Seeing him and his siblings rise up, along with many other black folks in my community who had decent parents has shown me that social engineering and handouts are not the answer. Pumping money into schools can’t counteract lazy parenting. Many of my white friends ended up in prison. Many of my black friends ended up as being pillars of their respective communities.
A previous comment asks “Where are all the proud, black educated people?” They are all around you. Maybe not the majority in some neighborhoods in DC, but look around. And its not always education. The awesome metrobus driver (you know these guys) who kicks ass at his job and gives anyone who ask friendly advice on where to go and how best to get there. The construction worker who may not own a car, but wears an American flag hard hat while hauling his tools on a dolly on and off the bus as he goes to work at dawn (he rides the bus I take all the time). I’ve had conversations with these folks, and many others, and they know how to raise their kids, and they are the first to talk about the cultural root of the problems confronting the “trash” in DC.

]]> By: Email http://dcentric.wamu.org/2011/02/on-being-complicit-black-trash-and-reverse-racism/#comment-282 Email Wed, 02 Feb 2011 15:42:00 +0000 http://dcentric.wamu.org/?p=3866#comment-282 The second comment hits it right on the head. I'm from the same rural mix of black ghetto areas and filthy white trailer parks. It goes both ways in many areas outside of urban dwelling. The problem in DC is the black trash. Where are all the proud black, educated people? We need another Martin Luther King. We don't need any more Lil Wayne's. Exactly who is the emotional leader for blacks? Marion Barry? The second comment hits it right on the head. I’m from the same rural mix of black ghetto areas and filthy white trailer parks. It goes both ways in many areas outside of urban dwelling. The problem in DC is the black trash. Where are all the proud black, educated people? We need another Martin Luther King. We don’t need any more Lil Wayne’s. Exactly who is the emotional leader for blacks? Marion Barry?

]]> By: anon http://dcentric.wamu.org/2011/02/on-being-complicit-black-trash-and-reverse-racism/#comment-281 anon Wed, 02 Feb 2011 14:10:00 +0000 http://dcentric.wamu.org/?p=3866#comment-281 Both of these comments appear thoughtful. Maybe the second commenters opinions aren't as easy to read to some, because they're not prettied up. But the thoughts and feelings are real. He wrote from his experience. Most of our experiences in the realm of this blog - race, class, the feelings they stir up; are not pretty, poetic or would pass muster by 2011 metro-area standards. He has a point, there are minorities of people - and I doubt there's any group that has an exception - that you could describe as "willfully ignorant, jobless, lazy, entitled, and viciously and unapologetically violent" and they do have a way of screwing things up for everyone else. I may leave off the "viciously and unapologetically violent" if I was doing the telling, but I wasn't. I think you have a point that the words of "reverse racism" probably shuts people down to hearing what you have to say. But what do you say instead to describe the phenomenon. The original poster didn't actually use the term though he described the behavior that could be labelled in that way. Both of these comments appear thoughtful. Maybe the second commenters opinions aren’t as easy to read to some, because they’re not prettied up. But the thoughts and feelings are real. He wrote from his experience. Most of our experiences in the realm of this blog – race, class, the feelings they stir up; are not pretty, poetic or would pass muster by 2011 metro-area standards.

He has a point, there are minorities of people – and I doubt there’s any group that has an exception – that you could describe as “willfully ignorant, jobless, lazy, entitled, and viciously and unapologetically violent” and they do have a way of screwing things up for everyone else. I may leave off the “viciously and unapologetically violent” if I was doing the telling, but I wasn’t.

I think you have a point that the words of “reverse racism” probably shuts people down to hearing what you have to say. But what do you say instead to describe the phenomenon. The original poster didn’t actually use the term though he described the behavior that could be labelled in that way.

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